By The Grace Of God.

I got ready as the little strip sat on the counter. Unlike in the past, I wasn’t staring at it waiting for the results. I changed and started to straighten my hair. I glanced down and saw the pink start to move around the test.

I don’t know why I even took it. I was on day five of a ten-day pack of progesterone. After the ten days, I should have a cycle and then I would start a Clomid pack which would hopefully produce ovulation. To get pregnant with Asher we had gone through the same process.

A friend had given me a bunch of ovulation and pregnancy tests. I stared at them confusingly. They were much different than the insanely expensive ones that Walgreens sells. Out of curiosity, I decided to see how it worked.

Lately, I have been hearing so many more people opening up about infertility. It breaks my heart in a way that I didn’t even know was possible before having a baby. Hearing these stories makes me hesitate to open up about my process. A minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of it all. I thank God every day for giving me these blessings. But just as my mom said, I share so much of my personal everyday life already, this is just another part of my story. I felt compelled to share this with you all.

As I was saying before, it took me quite a few months to finally ovulate and get pregnant with Asher. I was blessed with a very uneventful pregnancy and delivered a perfect little seven-pound baby.

This time I was determined to “fix” my body naturally instead of using medications. I strongly believed that after conceiving, carrying, and delivering a baby my body would return to a hormonally balanced state and be able to cycle and ovulate consistently each month.

But every month went by and nothing. I saw specialists, I ate an abundance of healthy foods, I wouldn’t work out more than three days a week, and I maintained a healthy amount of body fat. I finally decided to see an NRT Specialist, muscle testing.

It was BIZARRE, to say the least. The man brought up things from my past dating back to the early 90s. Many memories I had long forgotten. As he unraveled every tough memory, he insisted I was one step closer. I left the office and sat in my car. I was taken aback by the visit and very skeptical but my entire body was shaking as if I had just undergone something.

I was hopeful but not relying on it.

After three weeks I had a natural cycle. The first one I had had in over 6 years. I was beside myself. I had never been so happy to start that special once a month inconvenience.

but a few weeks went by and as I started testing for ovulation, I had no positive sign. Every test came back negative. When the day came that my next cycle was supposed to come came and went I was even more confused. Every pregnancy test came back negative and yet I didn’t have a consecutive cycle, I became more discouraged.

I gave up.

I decided to go back to my doctor and tell him to just start the Progesterone and Clomid again. The medication made me depressed and so moody. I hated it but knew it was only temporarily.

Back to day five of the Progesterone cycle.

I finished getting ready and went to toss the strip when two little pink lines stared back at me. My heart started pounding. This must be negative. Two pink lines must mean negative for this test. I quickly googled the instructions and saw that it was indeed positive.

What I later found out was that I did not ovulate that cycle. I randomly ovulated almost a month later than an average woman ovulates. No medications. No intervening.

and by the grace of God, I got pregnant.

Baby Malcolm #2 is due December 21st, 2019. <3