The Only Normal I’d Ever Want To Live.

“You better get your sleep now because once the baby comes you’ll need it.”,”You think you’re tired now.”, “Your whole world is about to change.” How many times a day do soon-to-be moms hear these things. I get it, my life is about to change… Boy, did I NOT get it.

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My pregnancy was a straight 10 months of serious bliss. I was on cloud nine. Every day I woke up happy as a clam as if it was my birthday, and it felt like it was. I truly felt blessed and ecstatic to be counting down the days to welcoming this new addition to our family. Most people are very happy to be pregnant but then there are the terrible inconveniences that we moan and complain about such as morning sickness (slight hangover feeling but I avoided this), food aversions (nope), aches and pains (nothing I couldn’t handle) I was lucky but I strongly believe that besides my good luck in the horrible pregnancy side effects department, I also was finally at a perfect hormonal state.

After years of overtraining, under eating, gaining and losing weight, my hormones were completely WHACKED. I suffered from mood swings, anger, food cravings and exhaustion all which became a new normal, that once I finally became pregnant (more on that later) my body was at a perfect balanced hormonal state. I wasn’t just an annoyingly happy pregnant chick, there was a medical explanation for my happiness. Life felt great and I couldn’t wait to start this next chapter of it…

Until it didn’t feel so great anymore..

The baby finally came and it was the happiest day of my entire life. I had a sweet baby boy weighing a perfect seven pounds and 19.5 inches long. My delivery was short, sweet, and uneventful. My new little family went home on Christmas Eve and we got to celebrate the holidays with my new blessing.

The days went by and I was slowly starting to come to. Think of it like when you first wake up in the morning, you aren’t exactly sure what day it is, what time, or really where you even are and then slowly it all comes to you. This is how the days/weeks felt following my birth. Then it felt like I was dropped on a different planet or better yet, as if I was in a whole new body, a new life. The honeymoon phase was withering and the visitors stopped showing up and I was lost. More so, I was drowning. Every ounce of my being was desperate to go back to my previous life. My whole world was completely changed and yet exactly the same just as everyone had warned me but yet I felt like no one prepared me for this.

Now let me tell you I am completely and utterly, over the top obsessed with my little boy. When I look at him my heart explodes with happiness and I feel a million butterflies dancing in my stomach. So how could I feel this terrible? Back to hormones, they were out of control! But also as any veteran mom will tell you, being a mama is HARD and its not just a minor adjustment. People tried to warn me and I just rolled my eyes annoyed. What I needed was someone to sit me down, look me straight in the eyes and tell me to say goodbye to life as I know it.

I remember being about six weeks postpartum and I finally made it out with some friends for brunch. I confided in a friend that I couldn’t wait for life to go back to normal and then she laid it on me with one simple little response, maybe this is the new normal. I shuddered, laughed it off and went on with my waffles and Bloody Mary. Fast forward ten weeks and here I am. I have a four month old perfect little boy and she was right. This is my new normal and yet I no longer feel the suffocation of the world coming down on me. This new life isn’t so bad, actually its wonderfully fulfilling and far better than any of my best days prior to having my baby.

So all you new mommas or soon to be moms out there listen to me as I sit you down and look you straight in the eyes, Life as you know is gone. Say goodbye and say hello to more happiness than you ever could possibly dream, more laughter then you can ever imagine and more tears than you’ve ever cried in your entire life. Motherhood is a wild ride but theres no other “normal” I’d ever want to live.